19F, UK, back again. Still no progress made, no friends, no goals, never dated, etc. I've come crawling back so many times, been given paragraphs upon paragraphs worth of advice, yet I can't change. I just can't imagine myself doing it, trying to fit in or dressing up and getting ready for a date. It's not that I have no social skills or even that I'm too ugly because there are landwhales I know with all of these things, it's that I can't fathom not existing outside of most people's worlds - it's not right, and it's not me. A large part of my unhappiness is that there is this false hope that keeps me trapped in this loop of 'it's so over' and 'we're so back', and I think it's time to let it go, hard as it may be. I wanted to be someone different and strived so hard to reach who I wanted to be, but, evidently, it doesn't align with who I am at my core. It saddens me but I'm never going to be a cute girl out with her friends in the day and on a date in the night, or even date at all. I'm still young so I'm sure that I sound hasty, but I know that this is what's right for me. How can I let myself give up? I'm so tired of this.
